Mr Sunshine
by sevenblankpages
Summary: REVISED! Previously called Mr Sun! Kim has a medical condition called anemia. It makes her tired, cold and her body tremble. Medication makes it better but winter has settled in her bones and is here to stay...until Jared comes back from his leave of absence.
1. Chapter 1

This is going to generally be the one and only long author's note that I'm going to post. Going back now to my stories after being away for so long and reading those dreadful things makes me physically ill. But I digress.

If this is your first time reading _Mr Sun_, welcome! If you are a returning reader, welcome back. I have a few things that I'd like to discuss before you read on, so please pay attention.

Number one- my previous version of this story was...horrendous to say the least. Riddled with mistakes (all my own), with no regard of timeline to the actual story, I set out to revise it and I did- _heavily_. This is still the same story but a lot of things I deemed unnecessary I've cut out or changed drastically.

Number two- my mission in revising this story was to make it as believable as possible as far as Twilight goes. That being said, there are some things that I had to fudge in order to achieve this. For example. We all know that Sam Uley was the first to phase into a wolf, and we know that he imprinted on Emily. We also know that Emily didnt accept the imprint at first, causing Sam to phase and attack her accidentally. Gathering information from the online wiki, and my own skills from the books and guideline provided by Ms Meyer, Emily and Sam were not engaged until an entire year after her attack, bringing us into New Moon. Now, we all know that Jared was the second to phase in the pack and that he did so not too long after Sam. So that by the time that New Moon rolls around, Sam and Jared (and Paul) have been wolves for quite some time. My fudging has a lot to do with this scenario. In reality, if Jared and Sam had been wolves for almost a year by the time New Moon rolls around, then Jared would have been imprinted on Kim for almost that whole time. I can't see him being in the same school, some of the same classes and not finding his imprint until months later. Keep this in mind when reading my story, and know that I am aware of what actual events took place...I'm just trying to make my own story :)

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to drop me a review. On my bio page, you can find my pinterest board. Previously I had a photobucket account where you could find all the things that have to do with this story. I decided to upgrade...besides, pinterest is a great website regardless, and I though it'd be more fun that way. Feel free to send me pins, too!

The title is inspired by a King Grannis song. If you haven't heard of her, Youtube her...she's fantastic.

This is ridiculously long. Sorry about that.

* * *

_Cause the winter saddened all the flowers  
__And the oceans turned to gray  
__And the sky cried down for days and days  
__Mr. Sun, please don't go away_

* * *

There was never a time when I wasn't cold.

I knew I was different from others when summer came around and so started cliff-diving season. Plans were made for every weekend. Camp out on the rocks, barbecues, hiking...Normal things. Instead of going out and making friends, I stayed inside under thick blankets while my twin brother did it all. I knew I was different when, as I got older, I received odd looks from my peers who stared at my obvious layers of clothing: my bulky hand-knitted sweaters, my thick tights, my big chunky scarves; the people who snickered at my wool gloves that I wore inside. I never changed for gym class.

The ice ran through my veins like a bad habit and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The cold made a home in my bones, settling down deep. Despite the amount of sweaters, blistering showers and hot chocolate, I stayed shivering.

Of course, it was worse in the fall and winter. Those months were the worst. Sometimes I felt as if I had the body of an elderly woman- my hands became so stiff I could hardly move my fingers, my joints ached and cracked. I walked with a hunch to make myself smaller, hoping that that would somehow make the cold not so...cold. I had been cold for as long as I could possibly remember.

The cold made me sleepy. I slept on the car rides to school, even after ten hours the night before. I slept during my lunch break. I took two hour naps before my sisters got off the bus. Whenever I had free time, I was sleeping.

My most embarrassing moment was when Dean found me slumped on the toilet, half conscious. He was banging on the door for a long time, but I remember being unable to get up to let him in. He busted down the door and found me there, blue lips, teeth chattering and the toilet bowl absolutely filled with blood.

The closest hospital was in Forks and on the forty five minute drive there, I had a panic attack and bled all over his car. Once the nurses ruled that all the blood was from my extremely heavy period, they took a glance at my palms and diagnosed me with anemia before a doctor even walked in the room.

In some ways, I was relieved. My entire lifestyle changed after that. I was put on a contraceptive to control my overactive menstrual cycle. They tried to drastically change my vegetarian diet but that I was stern about. Instead of adding meats and fish, I added protein shakes and more leafy greens. I was given vitamins to help bring my low iron to a normal standard and strict medicine to keep it that way. I was relieved because I felt better. Physically and mentally.

But I was still cold. After a few weeks of feeling like this, I concluded that I would probably never be warm. I was still relieved now knowing that I most likely wouldn't be sick anymore, but I continued to layer and shiver.

Winter lived in my bones.

When I woke up, it was lazily. I yawned and stretched, listening to the sound of my joints cracking, my stomach growling in hunger. I settled back down into my blankets, content that it was actually warm in my bedroom for once. This didn't get to happen often. I didn't let my mind wander. It stayed in the confines of drifting sleep and focused solely on this bed. I didn't open my eyes as I rolled over, pulling the blankets tighter around me. It suddenly was very quiet. I could hear the leaky faucet in the bathroom, and the clinking of dishes in the kitchen. And then I realized.

There was _sunshine_ on the other side of my eyelids.

I jumped out of bed. Or tried to at least because the blankets got twisted around my ankles and I crashed to the wooden floor with a loud thud.

"Ow."

I raised my head, blinking through the sunlight. The clock on my nightstand mocked me with its ticking, but being without glasses I was as blind as a mole. I grabbed them and shoved them on my face. It was already 7:30.

"Shit!"

I crawled my way over to my dresser and pulled it open. I hadn't ran this late in a long time. I wondered why my alarm never went off. I stripped quickly and pulled on the first thing my fingers touched over my head. I grabbed my bag off my desk and was out the door.

Two of my three siblings were sitting at the kitchen table. Both of them froze when I entered, spoons full of sugary cereal halfway to their mouths.

"Why didn't either of you wake me up?" I said.

Maqahla, who was seven, shrugged her shoulders. "We thought you wanted to sleep in."

"Yeah!" Raven, who was five, stuck out her tongue. Both of their clothes were wrinkled, like they had been taken from the dirty pile of laundry and their hair resembled a rats nest. I took my brush from my bag and began attacking Maqahla's head.

"There is ten minutes left before the bus comes," I said. "Is your homework done?"

"Yes."

"Are your lunches packed?"

Maqahla shook her head as I tried to pull her long silky hair into a ponytail. I started over. "Dean said you would before he left this morning."

"Of course he did," I said. Their bus pulled up just as I finished zipping their lunchboxes shut. They ran out the door and down the porch steps, their untied shoelaces blowing behind them. I glanced at the clock as the bus pulled away. I had seventeen minutes before my first class started, and it took a half hour to walk on a good day. I shivered and bent my knees a little. Today was not a good day.

Deciding that I was going to be late already, I took my time putting my boots on and finally looked in the mirror. My eyes looked tired though I felt as though I had gotten a good night's sleep. I changed my shirt since my first pick was too big. I locked the door on my way out, though if someone were to break in, it wouldn't do much anyway.

My house was easily one of the oldest in La Push. It had been in my family for generations, since the tribe first settled here, but my mother didn't really take great care of it. The porch was missing a few slats of wood, the steps were busted and creaky. The roof was sagging on one side. From old photographs, it used to be beautiful. All the pictures are black and white, with family members whose names I didn't know, standing around it with a few stray chickens here and there. The only thing that was the same now were the chickens.

Like most of La Push, we were poor. We didn't have the things that most people had- most people being whoever lived on a few miles from the reservation. Crossing the border line from Forks to La Push was similar to time-traveling. La Push was considered old fashioned to new and modern Forks, but somehow we all thrived and were happy here.

Some of us.

My life would be easier of course, if my house wasn't falling apart. Or if my twin brother knew how to communicate properly. Maybe if my mother would step-up out of the hole she was digging us in. If my anemia would magically disappear. More hours at work. These were all big things, big changes to my daily routine that would ensure my days would be easier.

They weren't going to happen.

Having accepted that, I'd come to realize it was the little things in life that kept me happy, such as seeing my sisters smile and play together without arguing for more than ten minutes. Getting good grades on assignments I worked particularly hard on. Receiving my paycheck at the end of every week. These were the things that kept me going. So I dealt with the fact that Dean was lazy, my mother wasn't ever home and I shivered as often as I blinked.

Once I was on the dirt path that cut through the woods behind my house, I pulled my brush out of my bag again and pulled it through my hair, twisting it into a loose bun. I didn't grab a coat so I continued to shiver as I walked. My knees buckled a few times, and I almost fell. If Dean had waited for me, I could have been to school in five minutes.

When I finally arrived at school, the halls were empty. Class had been in session for twenty minutes already. I was outside my classroom door but it struck me that all of my papers and notebooks for the day were still sitting on my desk at home. And not in my bag. I checked anyway, hopeful that maybe they would just appear but all I found was chapstick, my wallet and brush and a stick of gum.

I pushed the door open and all eyes were on me.

For a split second. Once they saw it was me and no one important, everyone went back to what they were doing. The teacher barely nodded at me before continuing on with the history lesson. I hurried to my desk and sat down, glancing around the classroom. Once I didn't find what I was looking for (okay, searching for), I slouched in my seat, a little disappointed.

Until I felt someone staring at me. My eyes snapped to my left and I froze.

Sitting in the desk beside me, which had been empty all the previous days before this day, was Jared Cameron. _The _Jared Cameron. The Jared Cameron who I'd been infatuated with since the day I first laid eyes on him in the first grade. Jared Cameron, who I've never spoken a word to before in my whole life, despite the fact that we lived in the same neighborhood and had been in the same classes for most of our education. The beautiful Jared Cameron who most likely didn't know my name.

Who suddenly didn't look like the Jared Cameron that I knew. _This_ Jared was- if possible- more attractive than the last time I'd seen him.

He had been missing for six weeks. Forty-two whole days. I walked into this classroom every morning and the first place my eyes landed was on the seat in which he had occupied all year and was now currently occupied by someone else. It was six weeks, but it felt like an eternity. It was getting to the point where I thought maybe he had quit school. And now- now- he was sitting in the seat directly beside mine.

And even though he was seated, I could tell that Jared had grown a substantial amount in those six weeks. This did not look like an ordinary growth spurt. He had only been an inch or two taller than my average height of five and a half feet. And now he had to be a whole head, if not more.

He looked so different. He was huge- muscular, with lines and curves that sent more shivers down my spine. On his right arm was a tattoo- a big circle with an intricate tribal design. And even though it was barely springtime, he was wearing cut off shorts and what looked like a hoody with the sleeves missing.

I was perturbed. In the few seconds it took me to look over his figure, I hadn't taken a good hared look at his face. Now I was a little frightened. I could feel him staring at me, so piercingly I could feel myself flushing. I looked up.

We both gasped at the same time, and my heart started thudding furiously. I had to look away, so I did- making my body to face the front of the classroom, my hands desperately clutching the side of the desk, clutching so hard my knuckles turned white.

Something was so very, very different about Jared Cameron. And he was still watching me. I tried to listen to the teacher talk about our legends, the legends I'd heard thousands and thousands of times but they were going in one ear and out the other. All I could hear was the blood pounding in my ears, my heart stuttering in my chest.

In my peripheral vision, I watched Jared reach a hand out towards me. I jumped away. He froze in mid air, shock etched across his face. His face that had changed so much, he barely looked the same. My heart seized again. I had always been physically attracted to Jared. Always. Until now. Now? Now I was hooked. Hooked like a worm and he had me. Hook, line, sinker. Done.

He was beautiful.

He watched me and his hand dropped. I swallowed the spit that had gathered in my mouth and relaxed my aching body. My eyes met his.

"I-" The words died in his throat but something about his face looked excited. It excited and frightened me at the same time. I was so confused. It didn't feel like real life, but the aching in my joints reminded me that this was no dream.

"Are you-" Again, he stopped short. He inhaled deeply and I watched bizarrely as his eyes sort of rolled into the back of his head. Then his face flushed and he looked down. He glanced up again, then back down.

I was officially stunned.

I wanted to ask him if he was alright. He didn't look okay. He looked like he was going to be sick, but his eyes were gleaming. He was fidgeting and shakey, his hands tapping the top of the desk, playing with his pencil and always glancing in my direction. Almost as if he were nervous to be around _me._

I had never been more perplexed before in my life.

Convinced something weird was going on here, I forced my body to face the front of the classroom once more. Determined to ignore him, to forget about what just happened.

60 seconds passed. I couldn't help it. I glanced in his direction. He was staring at me, his mouth opened slightly. When he saw me looking, his face flushed again and he ducked his head. I was even more confused than before.

"Pop quiz!" The teacher exclaimed. There was a collective groan from the class. "Pull out a sheet of paper and a pencil. Please copy the questions from off the board." He began writing, turning his back to the class.

All of my things were at home. Before I had a chance to sigh, there were the supplies on my desk. I caught the rolling pencil before it had a chance to fall off. I looked up. Jared gave a little twitch of his hand, which I thought to be a wave and he looked down at his own paper.

This was too strange for words. Had Jared and I done some Freaky Friday shenanigans, and switched souls or something? Why was he acting nervous? Why was he acting like _me?_ I tested the waters.

"Thanks."

He perked up, his eyes gleaming once again. He smiled at me, all his teeth pearly white. "You're welcome."

I was amazed once more by his beauty. He could have been on billboards in New York City. I imagined his face shining down on tourists walking through Times Square, how they would point in awe and salivate just by looking at his face. I didn't know that what had happened to him could be accomplished in six weeks. His voice broke my daydream.

"Kim?" And he knew my name. This day couldn't get any weirder. I couldn't unstuck my tongue fast enough to say anything, and somehow, he knew that. He smiled at me again. "Good luck."

I wanted to say something back but couldn't find my voice so I just nodded. It took all of my willpower to concentrate on the quiz. When the bell rang, Jared was the first to jump up. He held out his hand.

"I'll take it up for you. If you want, I mean." The hand he had out was suddenly running through his hair, agitating it. Like a nervous habit. Enough was enough. I cleared my throat.

"No, that's alright. I've got it."

He looked crestfallen but nodded. I walked my paper to the teacher, then was out the door faster than I'd fallen out of bed this morning. Immediately, I broke out into a cold sweat and my palms itched. I got the chills and shivered for a minute, trying to get out of the hallway where he was to clear my head. I was exhausted.

I'd known Jared almost my entire life and that had been our very first encounter.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for all the support guys! I know I haven't responded to any reviews but I will soon! Hang tight! xo

* * *

Dean and I were six when our dad walked out on us. And six years after that, our mom kicked out Maqahla and Raven's dad.

When our dad left, mom moved us from the Makah reservation to La Push. She'd had a friend who had done something similar when her husband left her when she was pregnant. She had a son my age and that's how I grew up being friends with Embry. We stayed with them for a few months until mom met Tim, the girls' dad. A relative of my mother's had passed away and my mother was the only one left in her family, so we got the house.

In the beginning, everything was great. Tim was a great guy- I really believed that in time, after my childhood healed, that I could eventually call him dad. He and my mother were deeply in love. They were never married but they didn't feel the need to be, since they had everything they wanted. They lived together, they took care of each other, they took care of Dean and me.

Three years later, mom had Maqahla and two years after that, Raven came along. The house was stuffed, falling apart and we were poor as hell but I had never seen my mother so happy before in her life. The way she looked at Tim, and the way he looked at her made me believe, at 11 years old that true love really did exist.

When Raven was eighteen months old, Tim confessed to my mother that he was having an affair. And after that, my entire world turned upside down. My mother didn't fight. She didn't scream, she didn't hit him. Simply, she packed his bag and shut the door behind him. She never spoke of Tim, except quietly to the girls whenever they mentioned him. She never cried (that I saw or heard) and she never once complained. Now, four years after, I was still trying to find my footing.

And we never did see Tim again.

* * *

"What if it's a trick?" Embry said. We were leaning against a wall in the main lobby of the school, waiting for the bell to ring. I had a study hall this period and usually, I didn't go to it but Dean still had our car. I was hoping that he wouldn't diss me a second time and come back to pick me up, so Embry was waiting with me. "You know, like that movie _She's All That_? Like, what if he made a bet with someone that he could score a date with you?"

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, Em."

But I had thought of that. What if it was? I mean, Jared lived a few blocks over practically my entire life. We had had most classes together, and even sat beside each other a few times. On a reservation this small, everyone knows everyone. We know where everyone lives, we know where everyone works, or hangs out with. There are no secrets. But since I had never been acknowledged by him before, I guess I just thought he didnt know who I was. I was wrong...unless it was a prank.

"Do you really think he could be that cruel?" I said. Embry was pretty much my only friend, though I was so not his. He wasn't popular, since that kind of stuff didn't exist in our school-popularity, cliques; the stuff in the movies was purely that- movies. He was the only one who knew how deep my infatuation with Jared ran. But Embry was well known and well liked in the community. His mother owned and operated a popular convenience store not too far from the school. He knew a _lot_ of people. Including Jared.

He shrugged. "Dunno. Just keep your guard up. You know where he was those six weeks he was gone?"

"I thought the rumor was he ran away."

Embry snorted. "Ran away. Sure."

"Why?"

"I saw him hanging around Sam Uley last week. That tattoo he's got on his shoulder?" I nodded and he raised an eyebrow at me. "Sam's got the same one. Odd, isn't it."

"Really?" That _was_ a little odd. Sam was older, not in high school anymore and...well to be honest, I wasn't sure what he did for a living. But the council doted on him. Adored him. Took him in and shaped him like his father should have. But everyone knew that Sam's dad left him too. All of our dad's sucked.

"Yeah, and I saw him talking to Paul Lahote not too long ago." Embry glanced over his shoulder, into the hallway, then back at me. "Paul seemed excited."

"Maybe he's part of a cult," I said. It was meant to be a joke but Embry shrugged.

"Could be, never know anymore."

We chatted for a little while longer, until the final bell rang, ending classes. The lobby filled with students. And then there he was. Through the hustle and bustle, I watched as Embry and Jared did a once over on each other. Embry turned his back to Jared, who was making a beeline in my direction, and rolled his eyes at me, giving me a one armed hug.

"See ya later, Kimmy." I made a face at the name but waved as he went. I was thankful that Jared couldn't hear my heart beating as fast as a hummingbird's wings flapped. It had been all day since I'd last seen him and I had had time to compose myself. A little bit. He was wearing a smile so beautiful that I could have swooned if I didn't have any sort of self control. Thankfully, I did.

Jared was _sexy_.

He used to be lanky. His limbs were too thin and long for his body. He was like a noodle, in a sense, because he had moved so awkwardly and hadn't grown into himself yet.

The new Jared was nothing like a noodle. He was more like a rock. His shoulders were broad- he reminded me of someone who'd just gotten back from boot camp. His waist was small but obviously toned; his shirt clung in all the right places and left little to the imagination. His arms were questionable: it really looked like he swallowed small boulders and somehow, they traveled to his biceps. His hair which used to be as long as mine and almost always braided (traditional on the rez), had been chopped short and styled into a lazy point in the front.

I had the strongest urge to just run my own fingers through his hair. He had a small smile on his face, the ghost of a smirk, which was so different than the nervousness from this morning. He stood directly in front of me with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. He nodded at me.

"Hi."

I tried to swallow the lump that had formed at the back of my throat. "Hey."

"How's it going?"

"Swell," I said. He chuckled but his face was serious.

"Are you waiting for someone?"

I glanced sideways at him and the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. "Why do you want to know?"

He shrugged, smirking again. "Just curious."

"I'm waiting for my brother," I told him. "He should be here soon."

"I can wait with you," he offered. Before I could open my mouth, he took the space of wall beside me and leaned against it. I shifted uncomfortably.

"You don't have to."

"But what if I want to?"

"Why _would_ you want to?" I said, bewildered. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Maybe I want to get to know you."

Despite the voice in my head screaming at me not too, I decided to take the plunge. "Was there something that you needed?"

Now he looked confused. "Needed?"

"Yeah." I shrugged. "Why are you talking to me?" It came out harsher than I intended it and I flushed. So did he.

"I-uh...well-I'm..." He ran a hand through his hair like he did this morning in frustration. He stopped then took a breath. When he looked at me, my heart skipped two beats and I found it difficult to inhale. This time, I couldn't look away. "I want to be your friend, Kim."

"What?" I said and laughed. But his face was genuine. I cleared my throat, a bit embarrassed. "Why now?" I felt like this was such a joke. Six weeks goes by, he comes back more beautiful than ever and _now_ he wants to be my friend? It had to be some sort of sick joke.

He shrugged and hitched his bag higher up on his shoulder. "I guess I just opened my eyes." He stepped closer to me and put his arm around my shoulder.

If I was like any other normal teenage girl in the world, I would have sat back and enjoyed the fact that the man that I was practically in love with had his arm wrapped around me. But the heat from his skin was like a shockwave to my brain and I ripped myself away from him, gasping.

He was hot. Burning hot, like he was sick and it unsettled me. Because for the split second that his arm was around me, heat burst like a dam in my stomach and I had felt better than I ever had before. The heat coursed through my veins, from my fingers right down to my toes. I was warm.

I was already red in the face from this whole conversation, interaction- whatever the _hell_ it was. Through the office doors, I finally saws the little silver car that Dean and I shared pull up.

"I gotta go," I said. "My ride is here."

"Kim, wait-!"

But I booked it. As soon as I pulled away from him, it was like being doused in a freezing cold shower. The heat ran from my body.

I power walked through the parking lot, dodging parked cars to get to Dean. I finally reached it, pulling open the passenger door. Sitting in my seat was a girl. Who was sucking faces with my brother. There was a small suction noise and Dean pulled away. He looked at me in surprise.

"Kim-"

But over my shoulder, I could see Jared moving quickly through the parking lot. I didn't have any time.

"Get out," I said to the girl. Her hair was cut short and her makeup was absolutely outrageous. She stared at me. "I said get out!"

The girl scrambled from the car and I jumped in her place instead, slamming the door shut in her face.

"Seriously, Kim?" Dean said. "What the fuck."

"Drive," I told him. "Right now. Drive, or I'm telling Mom that you cut class today."

I could see Jared moving faster in the side mirror, but Dean pulled away before he could reach the car. Satisfied, I leaned back.

"Oh, by the way, thanks for waking me up this morning, ass-wipe."

He shrugged, which was his normal answer for everything. I continued, staring out the window, grateful at least that I didn't have to walk home.

"And for helping me with Maqahla and Raven. The least you could have done was made their lunch, or brushed their hair-"

"Jesus Christ, Kim, give it a rest okay?" he said. "You sound just like Mom- you're not Mom!"

"I know I'm not Mom," I said. "_Mom_ isn't even Mom right now. But at least I'm trying!"

"Oh, and I'm not?" he shouted.

"No, Dean, you're not. Actually, to me, it seems you're pretty set on keeping us all apart."

He slammed on the brakes and I flew against my seatbelt. Thankfully there wasn't anyone behind us because we were dead stopped in the middle of the road.

"What the _fuck_," he said, turning to glare at me. "is that supposed to mean?"

"You know perfectly well what I mean, Dean," I said. I settled back in my seat and looked straight ahead. "Drive."

"Tell me what you meant!"

"Meaning you don't give a fucking shit about any of us!" I said. I couldn't believe we were actually fighting. Dean and I never fought. "Meaning you don't care about what happens to us at all! Not me, not Maqahla and Raven, and certainly not Mom!"

I don't think I had ever seen Dean so angry before. "Are you out of your damn mind?" he said, and slammed both fists on the steering wheel. He was shaking. "You're actually being serious?"

"Yes, I'm being serious. Because if you cared about any of us, you would help me! You would settle down with a job, you would help me with the girls! I'm doing this by myself! But no, everything is always about partying, and your friends, and smoking and girls- what about your damn family, Dean?"

My throat was sore from screaming and I realized I was crying. Dean was finally quiet.

"What about me?" I said after a minute. "I am your sister. Your _twin_ sister. Don't you care about me at all? Don't I matter to you?"

He turned to look at me and I tried to wipe the tears off my face, but he caught my wrist. He did it for me, wiping his hands on his jeans after.

"I love you," he said and I knew that he did. "But I can't- I just can't deal with any of this shit right now."

"Dean-"

"I can't."

And before I could even think to stop him, he had the car in park and was gone, down the street and disappearing into the woods, leaving the door swinging behind him.

"Dean!"

But he was already gone.

I sighed and put my head in my hands, breathing through my fingers for a few minutes. There was a beep behind me and I jumped. In the mirror, I could see someone throwing their hands up in the air from the inside of their car. I climbed over the center console into the driver's seat, waved in apology and shut the door. The car beeped again, longer this time and I drove the car off to the side of the road, letting him go around me. It was Embry. He had the windows down, pausing beside my car.

"Are you alright?"

I shrugged. "I don't know anymore."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" I really didn't and I had to get home to get my sisters off the bus so I said no. "Call me later, I guess."

I waved goodbye to Embry as he drove off. I rested my head on the steering wheel and measured all of my inhales and exhales by the ticking noise from my blinker. I sat there for a few minutes.

Dean and I had never really fought like that before. Usually, Dean would help me do anything and everything I asked him. And then usually without asking. I hated to admit it but Dean and I acted the part of father and mother to Maqahla and Raven. After awhile, he started to slip and I thought that maybe he was just forgetting- I got it, I was stressed out and forgetting things too. But I made an effort to keep us afloat whereas, after a long time, I realized that he just didn't care anymore.

A tapping on my window made me jump. Jared was leaning down, peering in at me just as my car turned off by itself. His white Ford Bronco was idling behind me. I fumbled for the window lever and only got it half way down with shakey hands. I turned the key in the ignition to the off position.

"Are you alright?" he said. I swallowed heavily and nodded.

"I thought you said you were waiting for a ride?"

I unstuck my tongue. "I was. My-my brother...we got into a fight. He ran off into the woods."

I watched Jared's eyes shift from mine to the dark trees on the other side of my car. His face grew somber. "He should be careful. There are things in the woods."

"Things?" I said. "What kind of things?"

He looked back at me, and something was different about him. My stomach quaked and then _I_ felt different. I felt...okay. Like things were going to be okay.

"Let's just say not your average 'bump in the night' things."

I nodded like I understood but I really didn't. The clock on the dashboard read that I had five minutes before the girls got home. I jumped again, and my entire body trembled. Why was I so jittery?

"Why did you run off before?" Jared asked me as I tried to get the car going again. It turned over once and then clicked.

"I-uhh.." My mind was everywhere; my car was dead, the girls were getting off the bus soon, _Jared Cameron _ was talking to me. Maybe I should have just stayed in bed all day.

Finally, my car started and I rolled the window all the way down. I took a deep breath.

"Look. I don't know what kind of game you're playing, or what kind of bet you made...but I don't think it's very funny. You've never spoken to me before today and we've been in all the same classes since, like, first grade. We live in the same neighborhood, for Pete's sake."

At this, he looked shocked and pleased. It made my stomach turn. I ignored him. "I have a lot of stuff going on right now, and I have to get my sisters off the bus. Please, just...leave me alone. Okay?"

The words were involuntary, and mechanical and the look on his face was bad enough to break anyone's heart. Before I could stop myself, I rolled the window up and drove off, leaving him standing there alone.

The _okay_ feeling I had before vanished and a chill crept up on me worse than it ever had before.

Maqahla and Raven were already home when I walked through the door, which meant that I was late. Of course, my mother was home but she was sleeping and could sleep through a car bomb if possible. She would not emerge from her cave for another few hours.

The door fell off its hinges when it swung open and I hurried to catch it before it completely fell over and busted anything. I struggled with it for a second before it slid neatly into place. I had to remember to fix it. It's not like anyone would try to break into our house to begin with, but still. A door is a door.

The girls were sitting in front of the television watching Spongebob on the fuzzy set. It was going to break soon, I knew, and it was the only TV in the house. I certainly didn't have the money to spare to get another one and the girls would be upset when it eventually died. I hoped they'd like to play outside more when that happened.

"Hi Kimmy," they chorused. They didn't move or turn around.

"Hi," I said, sitting on the couch beside them. "How was school?"

Maqahla turned around first and I gasped. Raven followed suit and my jaw dropped.

"I got into a fight at school!" said Maqahla.

"I helped!" Raven chirped.

Maqahla's beautifully and normally flawless skin was marred by errant bruising. She had a small split lip in the middle of a larger bruise. Raven's eye was slowly but surely turning black, but both their eyes were shining brightly. They'd never looked more prouder of themselves before.

"What the hell happened?" I demanded. "Tell me!"

"Well, it wasn't really at school," Maqahla corrected herself thoughtfully.

"Where did it happen?"

"On the bus!" said Raven.

"What happened?" I said again. "Who hit you?"

"Shannah Quicke!" said Maqahla.

"And Tommy!" Raven said, throwing up her little fists and jumping up and down.

I put both of my hands around Raven's and pushed them gently to her sides.

"You never hit anyone, you guys," I said. "The only time you hit someone is if they hit you first."

"We did!" Maqahla protested. "Shannah and Tommy were laughing at us on the bus!"

"Why?"

"Because we had a packed lunch today," she told me. "They took our lunches and started laughing at us. Then Tommy hit Raven _for no good reason_ and made her cry, so I punched him. Then Shannah punched me and then Raven hit Tommy-"

"Wait," I interrupted. My head was swimming. "This happened on the school bus? What did your driver say?"

"She didn't," Raven said. "It was on the back of the bus."

"What were you doing at the back of the bus?" I cried out. The back of the bus was for the older grades; the lower grades sat up front. "What were you even doing back there?"

"Shannah and Tommy took our lunches, I told you!" Maqahla said. "The driver didn't say anything. I was protecting my own! Don't you and Dean say that to each other? Protect your own? It means protect your brother or sister, right? Well, that's what I was doing!" Maqahla smiled, then grabbed Raven around the neck with her arm and Raven wrapped her arms around Maqahla's waist and I had just never seen two more excited kids before. Instead of two crying and defeated children who were sad about being beaten up, they were proud. And in turn, I was too. Though I would never let them know.

"You're not mad at us, are you?" Raven asked in a small voice.

I sighed, then pulled them both and squeezed them tightly to my chest. "I'm not mad. But if something like that ever happens again, you have to tell your bus driver."

"Okay," said Raven.

"We will," Maqahla agreed.

"What did your teachers say? Did you get your lunches back?"

"No," Maqahla groaned and held her tummy. "We were so hungry!"

"My teacher didn't say nothing," said Raven very quietly. "She just gave me weird looks."

I felt like shit. "I'm going to make dinner in a little while. Don't worry about your teachers giving you weird looks or anything like that, okay? I'm going to call the school tomorrow and let them know what happened. Don't ever be the first one to throw a punch. You only hit if you need to defend yourself. And don't be scared either, if you have to, okay? Because it won't matter if you get in trouble at school, it only matters if you get in trouble at home, right?" They both nodded. I smiled. "If you're defending yourself, you won't get in trouble at home."

"Are Shannah and Tommy going to get in trouble at school and at home?" Raven asked. I shrugged.

"Who knows? I'll call their mom too, to let her know. Why don't you get your homework done so we don't have to do it after dinner?"

They scrambled for their backpacks and I took this time to sit back for a minute. My sisters were in second and first grades. Why in the hell were older kids hitting them for crying out loud? Stealing their lunches? I felt the anger building up inside but I didn't regret telling my sisters to hit back if they needed to. Violence certainly was never the answer, but I couldn't picture my sisters cowering back in fear from someone hitting them. I didn't want to picture it and I never wanted it to happen. Protect your own.

I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. Today was a shit show, to say the least. Dean was still gone and Mom was still sleeping. I had to be to work in two hours. My life was hectic and frantic but today had been a big ball of anxiety. I was still cold.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello, friends! Just a quick reminder that if you're not logged in and you leave me a review, I can't respond back! Also, any mistakes you find are my own since I don't have a beta. Thanks for sticking around :)

* * *

Because times were tough, last year I had gotten a job at a department store back on the Makah reservation. The house was ours and no longer needed to be paid for, which I was forever grateful for. I wasn't sure what we would do if we had to make a payment as large as a mortgage payment.

This was also why I worried about the state of my house to begin with, because if something happened to it that made it uninhabitable, we would be screwed, to say the least. Both my mother and I (and Dean, whenever he felt like he wanted a job) lived paycheck to paycheck between our cars, food for the house and everything else we had to pay for.

I didn't like complaining. We were all happy. Healthy (somewhat, in my case). The girls had food in their bellies every night and heat in their rooms when it was cold. They had clothes on their backs and a roof over their head. Dean and I loved them dearly. They wanted for nothing.

And I liked my job. I got to dress up a little bit, make myself look presentable. I got to interact with people I didn't know, which was near impossible when you lived on a reservation as small as La Push. At work, I was able to forget the things that I had going on in my life and focus on other people. It was a nice change. And I worked with nice people so I looked forward to it almost every day.

Today was no different. I was hoping that Dean would be home soon from wherever he was so that I could leave without worrying if Mom would wake up in time. Just as I thought this, I heard the front door open and then it fall off its hinges onto the ground. It was followed by another bang as Dean clearly ignored the door and slammed his own shut.

The girls had jumped as they ate their chicken fingers and macaroni and cheese, but their eyes never left the television as they sat at the dinner table. They ate like they'd never eaten before, even though they'd had a snack when they finished their homework.

I felt like a shit sister.

After I picked the door up again, I washed dishes as they ate dinner. Sometimes I'd pine for simple modern things, like a dishwasher. Something as simple as that would make my life a lot easier because if I had one, I could have been getting ready for work instead of cleaning.

I heard footsteps behind me and my mother appeared, looking sleepy. She barely looked up as she reached for the coffee maker by the stove. "Hi, guys."

"Hi Mom," we said. She tried to smile, I think, but grimaced instead and her face drooped, as if the effort was too much for her to handle. She wasn't old in the slightest- she had had both Dean and I when she was only seventeen herself- but she looked like she was in her late forties. She used to be beautiful. So stunning, she could have modeled. She used to have long curly hair that I played with a lot when I was Raven's age. They were perfect corkscrew curls that never got frizzy. Recently, she had cut her hair short, so that it was tapered to her head. I used to be so jealous of those curls and I wanted them so much- my hair was straight as a pin and couldn't hold a curl if my life depended on it.

Her eyes were a golden hazel with flecks of green that shined even when she was sad. Her teeth were far from perfectly straight but they were so white they gleamed, and her smile was so contagious. But I hadn't seen her smile in a long time.

It seemed like these last few months were really taking a toll on her. I couldn't remember the last time we had a decent conversation about anything other than grocery shopping or bills. We really didn't see her too much since she was always sleeping or working.

She yawned hugely then, and grabbed a mug from the cabinet filling it with coffee from the pot.

"Do you have work tonight?" she asked.

"Yes," I said and I turned the sink off, placing the last of the dishes in the drying rack. I began to back out of the kitchen. It was difficult to be around someone who exuded so much sadness and negativity; it was uncomfortable and it made me sad because I never wanted to be around her. "I'll be home around eleven."

I ran to the bathroom and showered quickly, shivering under the heat of the water and wishing that I could live there, in that tiny bathroom and never have to leave. It was one of the only times I ever truly felt warm. Aside from earlier with Jared, of course.

Not wanting myself to think of that anymore, I forced myself out and into my room still dripping, to get dressed. I decided on a black skirt with a white blouse and took the few minutes extra to blow my hair dry and to put on a tiny bit of makeup. I didn't want to look like I had just crawled out of bed. I could care less about my appearance at school- I tried to be as professional as possible at my job. Which meant suffering through the chills I would have from wearing a skirt.

I grabbed my glasses from the bathroom and called out to the girls before I left. The drive to Makah wasn't very long but it still gave me enough time to think about all that had happened today.

Jared.

I didn't want to believe it was all some crazy prank, but a big part of me feared that it was. What if Embry was right? What if it was like that movie, and all they wanted to do was build me up just to tear me down?

One part of me thought that I didn't matter enough for someone to do that. I was just Kim. Kimber Conweller, to be precise but if you asked anybody at school who that was, they probably wouldn't be able to tell you. The same part of me wondered if someone would actually take time out of their day to do such a thing to someone. I hoped not, but I couldn't be one hundred percent positive.

Another part of me wondered if Jared was actually being serious. What did he say earlier? He opened his eyes? But why now? I just wanted to know why. And I wanted the truth, but I didn't at the same time. Because if it was for the wrong reasons then I would most likely never speak to him again.

My mind went haywire when I was alone.

Before I could wrap my head around anything else that had happened to me today, I was pulling into a parking spot. I clocked into work, smiled at my co-workers and made my way to my own department.

The only other girl I worked with, Jillian, was there already as I slid behind the counter.

"How's it going?" she said. Jill was older, almost thirty but could have passed for someone my age. She should have been a supermodel, walking down a catwalk because she was every definition of the word beautiful, with the fashion sense to go along with it. Sometimes I felt like I was playing dress up compared to her.

"Swell." I gave her the same answer I had given Jared earlier and she laughed like him too. We chatted about our days and she told me about a shipment of necklaces that had come in that needed to be put on display.

Jillian and I handled all of the jewelry in the store. All kinds of gems and diamonds, golds and silvers. It was nerve-wracking to say the least when the things you worked with were worth more than your house with everything inside it plus your car put together.

When we finished going over numbers and the things that needed to be accomplished before the store closed, she stopped me before I went into the backroom.

"My sister is actually coming to visit me tonight. She got engaged not that long ago, and she is coming by to get her ring cleaned. Could you keep an eye out for her? Her name is Emily."

"Sure," I said. "Anything I should look for in particular?"

Jill looked uncomfortable. She wrung her hands together. "Yes, well. About that. Do you remember reading about that girl who got mauled by that bear last year?"

Of course I did- that was not something anyone could easily forget about. Who got mauled by a bear and lived to tell the tale? I nodded.

"That was Emily. She-she's got some pretty bad scarring on her face. If you can see past that, we do look a lot alike. It's just kind of like-" She made one side of her face droop a little bit and then shrugged. "You know? Don't stare at it, she gets uncomfortable. You'll know her when you see her."

"Of course," I said. "I would never."

"Thanks," she said. "I'm going to go run to the woman's department for a little while. I have to speak to Jodi about my shift next week."

"Okay." I got a duster out from underneath the counter and started cleaning as Jill left.

One of the reasons why I loved my job so much was that in the glass cases that held all the jewelry were super intense lights. Not only did they make inside the cases hot, it made the counters hot too. When no one was looking, I'd drape my body across the counters to soak up the heat as best I could.

As I dusted a tower of fashion watches, I became acutely aware that someone was watching me. I looked around the tower carefully, from where I could feel the staring coming from to see if maybe it was a customer, or a co-worker. But my department seemed to be empty. I turned around to find something else to clean and walked right into a body.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," I said. My hands automatically reached out to grab whoever it was that I bumped into to steady them. "Do you need-"

And I stopped dead.

It was a customer, a curvy woman with dark golden skin. Emily. One side of her face was gorgeous, and very similar to Jillian's. But the other side was marred and scarred, angry red lines pulling her face down. Her mouth sagged a little. I understood why Jill looked uncomfortable talking about it before.

"I'm so sorry," Emily said. She rubbed my shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I said automatically. "I should have been watching where I was going. I'm so sorry."

"No worries," she said and she smiled. It was hard not to stare, especially since only one side of her mouth lifted in the smile. All of her teeth were perfectly straight and blindingly white. "Is Jillian here by any chance?"

"Yes, she is. You're her sister, right?"

She nodded and held out her hand. "Emily."

When I shook it, I could feel her skin was warped and distorted. I didn't have to look to know the scars reached down. "Kim, nice to meet you."

"Likewise." I felt very calm in her presence. She wasn't that much older than I was but I suddenly felt like I wanted to hug her and hug her tightly. I resisted the urge by gripping the duster tightly.

"Em!" We both looked to see Jill waving excited and she hurried down the store. I took a step back as they embraced and chatted. Jill pulled her over to the counter and got behind it, looking in awe at her ring. I continued to clean up but I stuck around near them. I felt very drawn to Emily and sad that I didn't know her well enough to embrace her. I felt a little empty inside.

"Does Leah know?" Jill asked in a hushed tone. I wasn't sure why because there weren't any more customers in the store but Emily answered the same.

"Yes. We haven't spoken since we announced it. I feel awful. I want her to be my maid of honor but I think she'd laugh in my face if I asked her to."

Jill tsked and they continued chatting. I went behind the counter myself and began wiping down the counter tops, still eavesdropping on their conversation. Emily was asking about Claire, Jill's daughter and then the topic changed.

"-always has his friends over. Paul and Jared eat _everything_-"

Jared.

How did this woman know Jared? Sure, Jared was a common name and so was Paul but paired together? Paul and Jared were best friends. I couldn't help myself.

"I'm sorry," I said. They both looked at me in surprise, probably forgetting that I'd been there the whole time, even though I was never far. It was easy, I guess. "But did you just say Jared? As in Jared _Cameron_?"

Emily blinked. "Yes, I-"

She gasped suddenly and grinned widely on the one side of her face. She grabbed my hands with both of her own and pulled me tight into her.

"Oh. My. God. You're Kim! _The_ Kim!"

I wasn't paying attention to what she was saying, only to what I was feeling. And I felt similar to how I felt when Jared had his arm around me earlier today. When I had wished for her to hug me before because I felt empty, I now felt better. I felt like my mom was hugging me, the way she used to hug me before things got shitty at home. Embarrassingly enough, tears welled in my eyes and I hoped that my glasses would hide the fact that I was crying. I hugged her back tigher, then realized what she was saying.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What? You know me?"

"Of course I know you, I can't believe I didn't realize it before! Jared has told me so much about you, I feel like I know you already!"

She laughed and I thought I might faint.

_Jared has told me so much about you._

"He has?" I said. "When? How?"

"Oh, today! He's still at my house, actually. He's best friends with Sam. My fiance," she added and wiggled her left hand at me. I saw a modest but still pretty ring on her finger and my heart contracted. I realized that she meant Sam Uley and that sent a course of different emotions running through my mind. Jared was best friends with Sam Uley now?

"Congratulations," I said. _Emily's after school! _Isn't that what Paul had told Jared this afternoon? It felt like ages ago, weeks maybe even though it had only been a few hours.

"Who's Jared?" Jill asked slyly, nudging my side. "Your boyfriend?"

"No!" I said and I jumped away from her elbow. Both Emily and Jill gave me odd looks, and in Emily's case it was sad. "He's- I don't even know what he is, he only just started talking to me today- I...I can't believe-"

I was so flustered. What was wrong with me. I couldn't even speak coherently. All I knew was that Jared was _talking_ about me. To people. To his best friend. To his best friend's _wife to be_.

Me.

Me, little ole Kim who had been obsessing over him for as long as I could remember. Me, who had never had a boyfriend and who's only kiss had been her stupid best friend when they were like, six because they wanted to know what the big deal was. Embry never let me forget it, either. My stomach was churning, but I wasn't sure if it was a good feeling or a bad feeling. I tucked my hands under my armpits because the cold was getting to me. Emily noticed. She took her ring off her finger and gave it to Jill to clean. They whispered for a few moments, then Jill walked away and we were alone.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked. She placed a hand on my shoulder and I shivered at the familiarity. Her touch was like home and that scared me almost as much as this whole Jared thing did. I nodded quickly.

"Yes. I'm fine, just cold." I looked up at her. Her eyes were sympathetic but bright at the same time. I needed to explain myself. "I have known Jared almost my entire life. We live in the same neighborhood and we've been in each other's classes since the first grade." She nodded excitedly at me but I shook my head. "Jared met me for the first time today. He didn't know I existed until today, and that's only because I walked in late and he was sitting in the seat besides mine."

My voice cracked at the end and her face fell so that the unscarred side matched the other. I continued on.

"You know, I've liked Jared for a really long time. And I was pretty content with pining for him from afar. He's been gone for the last two weeks and he comes back today and he's _different_, you know? So different and he looked at me and then everything changed." I shook my head. "I can't help but think it's all some kind of big joke. Like maybe someone is pranking me and there's going to be one big'aha!' at the end, you know?" She looked deep in thought. She finally spoke.

"Sometimes things happen for reasons that we can't explain. I think that this is one of those times. I also think that you don't need to worry about it being a prank. I believe that Jared was possibly...blind. Despite what they think, boys really aren't all that smart." She winked at me and I felt a little bit better about the fact that I just spilled my guts to my co-workers sister. "The next time you see him...talk to him. Get to know him. He's a little slow," she paused to laugh and I smiled. "But he's a really good kid. I promise you that."

The way she spoke so highly of him, her demeanor and that homely feeling I got whenever she touched me made me trust her. She could tell. "It was really nice to meet you, Kim. I hope I'll be seeing you around soon."

Jill came back around with her shiny and sparkly ring. We oohed and ahhed over it for a few more minutes. Then she kissed me on the cheek, and left, taking all my warmth with her. Leaving me shivering and more confused than I was earlier today.

The house was dark and silent when I walked in later that night. I made sure to catch the door before it fell and woke everyone up. I dropped my keys on the counter and then picked them up after thinking twice. I would be the one driving to school tomorrow.

In my room, I undressed and slipped on a tshirt and sweatpants. The shirt had once belonged to my father.

I didn't know my father except what I'd seen from pictures. When we were moving out of Embry's house and into this one, my mom had found a couple of his things in a box which she had thrown away without any hesitation.

I went back and got everything when she wasn't looking and washed the shirt twice. I found a few old records, and some movie stubs but that was it. It was all I had of the person who had donated half of my DNA and then never wanted anything to do with me or Dean ever again. I shouldn't have wanted to meet someone or wanted to love someone who had given me up like I wasn't their child. But I did. And very badly.

Dean didn't. He never had. He had told me a long time ago that if our father ever decided to show his face, he'd likely beat the shit out of him for leaving Mom in the mess he did. But I think the only reason why he said that was to hide the fact that he wanted a dad too. All of us did.

I set my alarm clock, making sure that it was set properly and on loud, so that I wouldn't miss it in the morning. I turned down my bed sheets and climbed in, taking my glasses off. I was exhausted; emotionally, physically and mentally. What a long day. And I was freezing.

I picked up my little flip phone and dialed Embry's number that I knew by heart. He answered on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Jesus Christ, Embry, you sound like you're dying." His voice was husky and scratchy, and it didn't sound good at all.

"I feel like it," he admitted, then coughed and groaned. "I think it's the flu. I've never felt like this before."

"You weren't sick earlier today, were you?"

"No, but as soon as I got home, I got a fever and then that was it. I've been in bed the whole day."

"I guess I should let you go to bed then."

"Not yet, tell me about what happened today."

So I did, doing most of the talking. I didn't just tell him about what had happened with Jared after he left, but I told him about Dean, what happened with the girls on the bus and about meeting Emily at work.

By the time I had caught my breath, half an hour had gone by and Embry was yawning in between hacking up a lung.

"I'm really sorry, Kim," he wheezed. "But I need to go. I probably won't be in school tomorrow."

"Do you want me to bring you your homework?" I said.

"No, don't bother. I'm probably going to be sleeping the whole day anyways."

"Alright, well...feel better."

"Thanks."

I hung up the phone, feeling terrible about how he was feeling but a little bit lighter now that I had gotten everything off my chest. He was a really good friend.

It was then, laying there in the quiet house that it hit me. My mother, who spent the time before she went to work with Maqahla and Raven didn't realize that they were bruised and beaten up. If she had, I think I would have gotten a phone call or a text message at work. But there weren't any texts or missed calls on my phone. I also realized that she probably also hadn't noticed that Dean and I weren't speaking to each other.

I wondered what would make her open her eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

Some lovely Jared for you all today. Sorry this is almost a filler...bigger things are coming, I promise :)

* * *

I drove Dean to school the next day in silence. He hadn't helped me with the girls that morning either, only deciding to leave his room right before I left. I said nothing to him, just let the door fall off its hinges behind me and waited for him in the car. I was on time for school and I had all my things with me as well.

I paused outside my history classroom, taking a deep breath to try and calm my nerves for what I knew awaited for me inside. All the what-ifs circling in my head were drowning out everything else.

What if yesterday was just a one-time deal? What if he never wanted to talk to me ever again? What if it was a joke? A prank?

Everything that Emily had told me yesterday meant nothing to me now. My heart hurt just thinking about it. I peered through the window in the door to see if he was already inside.

"Looking for someone?" a voice said. It was so close I could feel the breath in my ear, and felt the way my hair fluttered. It was hot and it spread warmly through my body making my shiver. I spun around to find Jared, a small smile playing around his lips. The tension in my shoulders relaxed.

"Who were you looking for?" he said. I flushed and shivered again. His hair was wet like he had just gotten out of the shower. My thoughts needed to steer clear of that direction, or school would be very interesting indeed.

"The-the teacher," I said. "I was just seeing...if the...teacher-"

His smile grew. He opened the door and stood back. "After you."

Still red in the face, I mumbled my thanks and quickly found my seat. I kept my head low but eyes up as he sat down in the desk next to mine. He watched me, expectant.

"Do you have your books and writing utensils today?" he said. He looked so smug and haughty, I simultaneously wanted to smack and jump him all at once.

It scared me that a single person could make my body react of its own accord. Some of the things that I felt or did were not in my control- and I wasn't sure what was scarier; that feeling or thinking this was all a prank.

"So I heard that you met Emily last night," he said and leaned back in his desk. "I didn't know you worked there."

"There are a lot of things that you don't know about me," I said and as soon as I did, I regretted it. He frowned, thought for a second, then leaned forward so his mouth was by my ear again.

"I'd like to change that," he said quietly. "If you'll let me." He pulled away a bit to look me in the eye. He sounded sincere. It was hard to breathe.

"Can I ask you something?" I choked out.

"Anything you'd like."

"Why did you tell her about me?" He froze. I knew I had caught him off guard but it was important to me that I knew why. I kept going. "She said that you told her all about me. What did you tell her? Because-I...I barely know you Jared. You barely know _me_. What could you have told her? I just don't understand how in _one_ day-"

"Look," he interrupted me. "It's...complicated. And I will explain everything to you. I promise. I just can't...right now."

"Explain what?"

"That's what I mean by complicated. You're just going to have to trust me." He winked at me but his smile was sad. "Do you think you can?"

I stared at him until my heart couldn't take it anymore. "What do you want from me, Jared? To make fun of me? To embarrass me in front of the whole school? To make an ex-girlfriend jealous or something?"

His face fell.

"I don't know that I can trust somebody that I've known for ten years of my life, someone that lives in my neighborhood, someone that didn't know that I existed until yesterday just because you say it's complicated and can't be explained right now." My heart was hurting but it would be even worse if all this was true. "I asked you to-to leave me alone yesterday. Please."

The bell rang then and I was surprised to find the classroom was full. I hadn't noticed. Jared gave me one last look that I couldn't describe before we turned in our seats to pay attention. It was difficult when all I wanted to do was look over at him. Make sure he wasn't going to disappear.

A square little note landed on my desk. I opened it up quietly then smoothed it out. In the top right corner of the paper was a drawing of a little wolf, howling at the moon. Underneath it, written in his slanted hand were the words _Please give me a chance to explain myself._

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him tapping his pencil agitatedly against the desk. He was waiting for me to write back. I sighed. _I don't know._

I tossed it to his desk and he ripped it open, not taking the time to try and be quiet. I blushed when the person sitting in front of Jared turned around to look. But Jared wasn't paying attention. He tossed it back to me, half folded. _Let me walk you to your next class?_

This was so bizarre. I scribbled back to him _Why should I?_ and tossed it on his desk. I didn't want to see the look on his face and waited for the note to come back to me. It did a few seconds later.

_Please, Kim._

I looked up and his face was pained. "Please," he whispered. I sighed. Instead of writing back, I caught his eye and nodded. I hope he didn't realize that I folded the note back up and stuffed it in my bag for safe-keeping.

The rest of the class dragged by. History lessons were not the same as normal history lessons as they were for others: our lessons revolved around the hundreds of different legends the La Push tribe had, the different laws the council members passed and how the tribe settled on this land. When we were younger we learned about global and American history, but in high school they taught us this.

When the bell rang, Jared sprung up like he'd been electrocuted. He waited there impatiently while I slowly put my things back in my bag. It was a little fun making him squirm for a change. He smiled at me when I decided to look up. I smiled hesitantly back.

"Ready?" he asked me. I nodded and he let me walk in front of him out of the classroom.

We walked slowly and silently down the hall. I had just opened my mouth to ask him a question when his arm snaked around my shoulder and he kept it there.

I knew I should have shaken him off but all I wanted to do was curl into his side and absorb his warmth, just breathe in his scent. The whole side of his body was pressed into my own and I don't think Heaven felt as nice as this did. He rubbed my arm.

"Jeez, Kim," he said, rubbing faster to create friction. "You're freezing! Just like a-" He stopped short and I felt his entire body tremble. I looked up.

"Just like a what?"

"An ice cube," he said quietly, and looked back down at me. "You're like an ice cube. You sick?"

"I-" This was harder than I thought. I didn't want to tell him that I didn't feel so cold when I was around him, or about how all my worries and anxieties just seemed to disappear...but when he was gone, the cold came back ten times worse than before. I was hesitant to tell him. "I am, actually. I'll be-"

He made us come to a dead stop in the middle of the hallway, everyone rushing around us, hurrying to their classes. The people behind us cussed and went around, giving us both dirty looks. Jared looked stricken.

"You _are_ sick?" he said, grabbing my shoulders. "How sick? Is it life threatening? Just a cold or-"

"Jared," I stopped him, and took a step back. "You're freaking me out a little."

"I'm-" He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Sorry. I'm just-" He stopped again.

"You're just _what_?"

"Worried about you," he admitted. My heart could have grown wings and flown down the hallway at his words.

"Why?"

"I don't know," he said. He looked pained. "At least just tell me what's wrong. Why are you sick?"

"I'm anemic," I told him. I started walking down the hall again, wishing he'd put his arm around me. As soon as I thought it, he did it and I could breathe. "I don't have enough red blood cells in my body, so not enough oxygen is sent to my brain. It makes me cold."

"Are you always cold?" he asked me quietly. I nodded.

"Pretty much. All day, every day. Summer, winter- it doesn't matter. I'm always cold."

Except when you touch me.

I didn't speak the words out loud but I might as well have because with the arm around my shoulders, he pulled me into his body in a tight hug; contact that I had been waiting for practically my whole life. Wrapped in his arms, just like this, I didn't remember what being cold felt like.

I was warm. And it was wonderful.

It was a similar feeling as being doused by hot scalding water in the shower and it made me shiver, in a good way. Despite the voice in my head shouting at me not to, I buried my nose in his shirt and inhaled deeply, intoxicated by his scent.

"It's a good thing that I run at a high temperature then," he murmured into my hair.

The bell rang and I pushed away from him, embarrassed and slightly disappointed with myself. _You're getting attached when this whole thing could just be a joke_. It was hard to believe that though: Jared's face was a little flushed and he was smiling so genuinely, it seemed impossible for someone to fake it.

We were at my next class and he grabbed my hand before I disappeared inside.

"Will you sit with me at lunch today?"

It was such a simple request and he looked hopeful. This wasn't going how I wanted. But the look on his face was breathtaking and I couldn't say no...so instead, I nodded and gave a small wave when he left. What was I doing?

The cold returned but I didn't mind it so much.

I was pretty decent in math so I didn't try to pay attention. All I could think about was how every time I left Jared, the cold came back worse than before. I was so tired and so cold. I wrapped my arms around myself and laid my head on my desk.

"Kim."

I opened my eyes, realizing I must have dozed off. The clock on the wall said that class was almost over. How embarrassing, to have slept the whole class. I hoped I hadn't drooled or snored. I wiped my mouth hastily just in case.

"Kim?"

I jumped, looking to my right, and swallowed heavily. Paul. I forgot he was in this class. "Hey."

"How's it going?" he asked me. He was smirking. I didn't think he knew how to actually smile.

I took a shuddering breath and shrugged. My eyes were drooping again. "I don't know."

He frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Lots of things," I admitted. I took a deep breath and held my head in my hands. It was worth a shot. "If I ask you a question, could you answer me honestly?"

He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. Like he already knew what I was going to ask.

"Ask your question and I can tell you."

"Why is Jared talking to me?"

Paul's arms dropped to his sides and he raised a hand to wipe at his face, suddenly looking tired. He hesitated. "I can't answer that."

My heart clenched and my stomach rolled. Oh my god. The bell rang and I jumped, hastily grabbing my bag. Paul waited for me outside the classroom and we slowly walked together.

"Can I-I ask another question?" He nodded. "Is this all a joke?"

He gave me a funny look. "A joke?"

I looked at him. Really looked at him. He seemed confused; he really didn't understand what I meant.

"A joke," I repeated. "Someone- someone must have said something-"

"Said what, Kim?" he asked.

I swallowed again and just like that the tears were back and I tried really hard not to let them fall because that'd be just _pathetic_, to cry in front of Paul of all people.

"That I like Jared," I whispered. "And- and now he's talking to me because you guys- you think it's funny-"

Paul looked outraged.

"Did someone tell you that?" he asked angrily, grabbing me by my shoulders. "Did someone tell you that Jared was doing this to _hurt_ you?"

I thought of Embry, who I knew was only trying to look out for me. Paul looked seriously pissed off though, so I shook my head.

"No-no, but it just doesn't make _sense_, Paul, why he's talking to me now when-I mean, I've sat next to him all year and now-"

Paul laughed like he was relieved, shaking his head and then he did the strangest thing- something that I would never expect him to do.

He hugged me.

And he was just as hot as Jared, and it engulfed me although it just didn't quite give me the same feeling as when Jared hugged me.

"Holy shit, Kim, you're freezing," he complained and pulled back, eyeing me warily. I rolled my eyes, my face heating up.

"Tell me something I don't know."

He raised an eyebrow. "Do you really want me to answer that question?"

I shrugged. He leaned forward so his breath ghosted across the skin of my ear and I shivered.

"He's not messing with you, Kim. He's serious. Believe me- I would know, better than anyone. Don't- don't think he's just joking around with you. He's not. I promise."

"I just-" It was difficult to speak so I just shook my head.

"Kim," he said quietly, pulling away and looking me in the eye. They were a light hazel. "Tell Jared."

"Tell him what?" I said.

He smiled this time, really smiled and you know? Paul was really handsome. It warmed my insides.

"Tell him you like him. I guarantee you that you will not be upset by his response."

He smiled again, _kissed my cheek_ and then left, turning a corner in the hallway and disappearing amongst the other students. Shit was jus getting weirder and weirder with each passing day.

It hit me, just then.

Paul's answer left me breathless. Literally breathless and I gasped trying to force some oxygen into my brain. My heart was pounding so loud I couldn't hear anything else. I was hyperventilating.

I was still breathing hard when I saw Dean come around the same corner Paul had left. His expression was empty before he saw me but when he did, he pushed people away to get to me.

"Kim," he said and touched my forehead with the back of his hand, feeling for a temperature. This had happened often enough that he knew exactly what he was doing. "What's wrong? Have you eaten today?"

"Yes," I gasped and I grabbed his shirt. My hands were trembling. "Dean, I can't breathe-"

"Kim?"

And there was that melodic voice that wafted through the air, settling in my eardrums and instantly my heart returned to its normal pace, as if I had never had a panic attack to begin with. I still felt light-headed but I stopped breathing so hard. My hands still shook.

Jared. He too, pushed through the small crowd of people scrambling to get to their next class to stand beside Dean, completely ignoring him. Whether on purpose or not, I wasn't sure.

"What's wrong?" he said worriedly. "Are-are you okay?"

"I'm okay," I said, nodding to Dean. My brother placed both hands on my face, gently pulling the skin beneath my eyes to look into my tear ducts, but I pushed him away.

"You're pale," he told me. "Paler than usual. Have you been-"

"Dean," I hissed and now I was embarrassed. "I'm okay."

"Well, you look like you're going to pass out," he said. Jared was wringing his hands behind him, looking more worried than my brother. "Are you taking your medication?"

"Yes," I groaned, pushing his hands away. "Drop it, I'm okay."

"Why were you hyperventilating?" he asked me suspiciously. My face grew red and I avoided Jared's stare.

"I don't know."

"Is it your anemia?" Jared asked, stepping forward. I could already feel his heat and if he continued to come any closer, I couldn't be held responsible if I threw myself at him and tried to suck it all away.

Dean glared, turning to face him. "What's it to you, Cameron?"

I knew that voice. That was the _I'm the man of the house_ voice; the voice he used when bill collectors came knocking at our door, or when our mother and her ex-boyfriend got into a fight.

That was the _don't fuck with me_ voice. Shit.

Jared's face was one of surprise when I stepped in front of him and faced my twin. He was still glaring at Jared.

"I'm okay," I told him. "See? Just-just got a little light headed, is all. It's been a long day. I have lunch soon, I'll be okay. I promise. Go to class, I'll see you later." I pushed him in his chest and he looked down at me. "Go, I'm fine."

He stared at me for a few seconds and then nodded, backing away with a final glare at Jared. The halls were empty; the bell must have rang and I hadn't noticed. I swallowed heavily and looked anywhere but at Jared. How. Embarrassing.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked me, touching my shoulder. A chill rippled through my body. I nodded.

"It happens sometimes."

"Are you sure you're—"

"Jared," I interrupted. "Truly. I'm okay. It happens. It's like freaking out about a paper cut. There isn't a reason to. Alright?"

He snapped his mouth shut and nodded. There was an awkward silence as we began to walk side by side. I had gym this period, and Embry was usually my partner. Without him there to keep me motivated (i.e., actually doing something), participation wasn't going to happen.

"I know this whole thing is really odd," Jared blurted out. "But will you give me a chance to hear me out? Because that's all I'm asking for. Is for you to just hear me out."

"I just want to know why," I said. "And it has to be a good reason because—"

"Lunch, okay?" he said, turning to me. Somehow, we were in front of the gymnasium. "You'll be there at lunch, right?"

I sighed and nodded. "Yes. I will be there at lunch."

He smiled widely. "Great. See you in a few."

He walked away, and even _that_ was breathtaking. I needed to get myself together.

* * *

You guys are so sweet in my reviews. I'm lucky to have such nice people reading my story :) Hope everyone had a wonderful Easter, if you celebrate it of course. I've got a wonderful Reese's bunny that I'm working on. :) Enjoy! xo


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